There is within me a private place, a crevice of the mind not revealed to anyone. Stored there are a multitude of thoughts, dreams, experiences, hopes, and desires. In quiet moments I retreat to this private room of my mind to sort out and select the thought most pertinent at the moment.
It might be a thought of God and the Universal philosophy. Sometimes it is of my role as wife and mother. There are moments when the thought is of me as an individual involved in the plot of life, and sometimes I reach deeply into the crevice of my mind for a creative idea to influence my writing. I retreat to this world frequently, as I advance through this stage of existence, aware that the true essence of me is deeply entrenched beneath the external personality.
There are intrinsic facets of all personalities, each person reacting to the stimuli of their surroundings, and at times I delve into the foundation of my psyche searching for answers.
What drives one to seek greater heights? Is it self gratification or desire for adulation? Is it that we are never content with our present existence, for contentment would cease our drive towards an ultimate reward?
With each success we move to a higher plane of existence. Along the path we encounter deviation through external forces, and sometimes we transgress, often more frequently than we desire, then we purge our souls according to our moral values. But should we? Should we spend countless hours in remorse for being human? Should we degenerate into a guilt ridden species, allowing our minds to dwell on our wrongdoing?
I don't thinks so. I believe we should think of our actions and learn from them. We cannot undo that which we have done, and pursuant to growth of mind and spirit we must weigh our decisions with an awareness of ourselves, our strengths, and our weaknesses. We must put into perspective the cause and effect of our actions. Were we in a particular situation for a purpose? Was it to give or receive? Was there a lesson to be learned from the experience, and can we focus on the underlying reason for the encounter, action, and situation? No one has ever walked this earth and not felt a sense of guilt or unworthiness, frustration, or futility.
As I think of my transgressions in life, I search for the lessons. Some had a specific purpose in my development. With each experience in life, we gain knowledge and an understanding of the world around us. Experiences are necessary for the fundamental growth of the individual. I embrace all my experiences.
They are what have created, the essence of me.
Mary Bradley McCauley writes from the heart. Her essays, poems, short stories are published as, "The Essence of Me!"
Her web presence is in many ventures and her Six Steps to Happiness can be read at: Six Steps to Happiness
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